Human Clay

When life sees you at the deep end, and sends an anchor instead of a preserver
The zen is officially dead and over, raking up the stone garden for cold logic
The heaviness of what we think matters is really white noise and static channels
I’m weightless in these throes of madness, unraveling the universe in the lens of viewers
Emotionally overloaded into the blissfulness of numbness, pearls tahitian —world inside my oyster
The chit chatter to go along with the glares of countless observers

Feelings of worthlessness overcast and produces icy thoughts, a fool loose in divinity
The world has gotten into me, the ink bleeds through the cracks with montages of misery
You see a smile in consort with laughter, the crux tumbling through the starlight of eternity
Servitude versus free will, the thin veneer of balance— a silk veil concealing weaponry
The intimacy of a harlot, blossoming ecstasy within the rolling of heads and final scenes

Sometimes, I get the shivers whenever I dream of something like being alive
What old scars were shaped in an event that replays in steel, gravity and fire
What order and chaos were divinely ordained, from twisted fingers a silent betrayal
Of fresh love withering away to autumn on the vine, I can smile as wide as the void
As long as people breathe, then I fear steadily the destruction we’ll breed and forge

©2024 loose.leaf.lover

“Love Is” Inspired By Grace Of The Sun

Love is a silhouette that creeps back and forth between the lines on sheets, a phantom sometimes whispering
A perfect memory held in chanel and christened by cherubs encircling, a heart-shaped missing part of me
Through the tattered and yellowing passages from bold to grey letters breach, and old wounds will still shriek
I could taste paradise anytime I wanted to once, but a barren calamity is the only language left for me to speak
I put up sails and tread the dawn of upcoming day shunned, it withers with years or grow into deep emerald fields sweet

Love is….

A kiss to the nape in a sanctuary of arms from behind with familiarity enshrined, the warmth of divinity intertwined
These affections loose from its quiver and fired, the prize of eros ensnared and splayed my holy pride and dined
The laughter of time that lingers on in muscle memory to a form no longer mine, the arrogance of lovers not yet to trial
The endless cycle of spectres adorned in a spectrum beyond eyes, I court a scene that shall remain colourless and undefined
These deep bonds like roots being pulled from their plot and sign, a gaping hole I tried to fill with any colour filled vibe

Love is…

Learning to love the light reaching for you through the cracks in your blinds again, sight when you’ve been blinded in the end
Opening up and expressing even when you’re trembling and reliving it in your skin, the ugliest parts you can’t mend
The strength it takes to begin again and widen the road when you have so many loaded in, the bravery despite mistaken trends
Trying not to fall back in familiar ruts when these scars can open twice as big, oaths we make when we love family and friends
Knowing how dark the lows can be and how grim the lulls can spin, overcoming this depression for a chance at myself and peace

©2022 loose.leaf.lover

All Of The Above

It’s not arrogance to notice the shrieks as the lights come on, the sun’s crown glows
The losses only intensify the wattage in brainstorms, the journey starts each dawn
There just might be hands that hold aloft the warmth some, but that’s life sown
I expect lies to coat each throat, like the presence of swords on tongues
The twisted figures wave serpentine blades in the face of another’s fate without merciful song

The earth adorns what society shuns, the ugliness behind beauty adored by sunlight and shore
The toxicity plays the new love language and lore, we covet the trauma even more
Can’t escape the chainlink and barbs, the crooked corners and the constant hunger morphs
The balancing act on fractured mirrors and minds scorned, the loveless masquerading in deep amore
Another prison to ponder as a predicament plunders a culture with quartz prisms

I spoke my love in cursive letters that surpassed the exorcist’s chatter, so possessive of those who matter
More and more isolated at my zenith where clouds gather, Zarathustra amidst peaks and valleys
The truth in perfect view, pure azure glanced in this ecstasy between life and death gambling
Elated at revelations as though grasping ring after an endless carousel of dreams shattered
Under hooves of nightmares on a warpath, spring forth seeds of yesterday blossoms gathered

©2023 loose.leaf.lover

For Every Rose…

For every rose that’s broken or bruised
Countless grey vales left thorny we’re due
Rue the day that doomed love took root
A curse, conscience, garland for thy ruse

In the void of winds,
Flowery expressions of passion & disenchantment
Musings on a whim,
Lost many petals of love and not’s used

Where precious dew becomes blood blots
Where once was ambrosia, now there’s loss
Streams of psychosis in every surreal jot
My cup runneth over into the deepest cracks

My love’s craft, lovecraftian amidst candlelight
Regale many with tales of sprawling madness
Piercing the veil of bravado showing real life
Addicts of misery derive orgasms off the tragic

©2021 loose.leaf.lover

In the Night Living Life

I was a soaring sun in azure before I ever felt the momentary grasp of a void or its unknown hazards
Now I’ve shown rivers long for departure black in fashion; drowning youth, invincibility and passion
The daggers of betrayal held by “I love you” and “forever after”, I laugh to keep from crying in the tragic
I laugh to keep from crying though my spirit is in atrophy, fated alongside the universe and its casket
A revery between sudden sadness and madness that’ll be forever held atop the precipice of a razor and dictated by the whims of cherubs

My scars are a reminder that life is short but very precious, nothing can imitate this not even plastic
And although I struggle daily with depression, living underneath this mass fears dark and static
I seek out light as a ship lost in an ocean with storms unending, constant rocking motion are shakes of devotion to panic
Folded hands and bent knees, but it all becomes meaningless in the deep, love language and curses course after
In this abyssal shadow of infatuation now settled, I’ve learned to embrace all abrasives with laughter

They’ll prick you expecting molten steel to drip out to further a template of the ideal, despite it deepening a disaster
They’ll plaster your face over every facade that sees the light of day with slander, to take solace in a peace that’s more phantasmal
You’ve become a sacrifice for lives that deny your very existence and visceral, the freedom of choice is the lure in a lullaby’s vehicle
Between the scythe and sickle as it counts down to meet you, “you were a wonderful person” that’ll insist without really knowing you
Flowery wreaths over the unspoken misery kept haphazardly hidden, you’ll forever be a hero despite never feeling completely cinematic

©2023 loose.leaf.lover

The Gentle Harm Of Tradition

"so i crawled into your head and i robbed you of your sleep, as you resurrected me just for closure and relief"
—Youth Novel

All these voices become intrusive thoughts that I can see, I’m confronted in my sleep
And I would love to drift soundly off my feet, but perfect pressure tethers me
Demons that’re constantly on the creep, I try to expell through refinements in blue ink
All this loneliness crushing with solid gravity, saying goodbye to facades of invincibility
Within human fragility nothing’s presented pretty, only emphasis on the ugly and meek

I greet all slings and arrows of critique with laughter in disbelief, all along it’s been me, myself and anxiety
And alone it’s just been me at another precipice before oblivion in ebony, the ghastly foreshadowings
No, no one else is mortal and prone to mistake quite like me, in this I’m portrayed unique
Nothing cuts deeper and stokes the flames of a silent hell like that of a tongue’s boundless offerings
I’m nothing more than an afterthought in myriad mirages meandering across the backdrop of a screen

You would think this was attention seeking, but this is peacekeeping in a release and scream
I can find zen in a zenith piercing through the cloud’s sea, away from others schemes
Transcendence in shifting scenes beneath my feet, the fleetingness of ego and vanity
Just to once again bathe in forgotten rays of freedom in just being, the freedom of vulnerability
Instead of being condemned to death inside a social construct so limiting

©2023 loose.leaf.lover

Joy At A Stand Still

Ballet in the sky to ballads of you and I, whirls of stars and worlds emerge from nebulous clouds interlocking in cursive letters where words arise

Serenade in the vibes and hues of love’s composure to the beat of a new dawn on the horizon, this little light of mind is fresh off divine

Holding a torch, a lighter to a stogie, my passion from the heart forever burning like tradition chanting mantras around lit incense in shrines

Brittany Howard on the highs with no shakes in sight, I delight in those eyes like the sun blooming from cloud covers of this harvest of ours

This isn’t meant to be filmsy and finite the love we share, with every fiber of being I repair, refurbish and continue to declare undying

To the very standstill of time, slow dancing with eternity flash frozen in diamond, laid to rest in mother of pearl and sterling for a locket

I want it all, the glistening ebony firmament wrapped up in a shifting shawl between cerulean and starlight—a life more than chocolate

To my sweetest confection my confession like icing addressing the addressee on her birthday but on everyday underneath candlelight

Illuminated message, “may you forever want this too”, drifting across the void in marquee lights to the amazement of all in sight begin to recite

It is what is and nothing less than, existence in its entirety woven into vows and bleed upon—for everything said I meant to be recognized

©2019 loose.leaf.lover

Red Devil

In a room full of
fun house mirrors,
lost and in pain,
every reflection
shown laughter
in a malicious way

Look my way
and say my name

Their intentions
seem vague,
fog creeps in
a neon haze
and I’m dazed—
a landscape
changed,
a city labyrinth
constantly
shifting gaze

And it is
when I’m here
that I need you near,
a gentle hand
breaching the
surface water
above my head
all in aid

Look my way
and say my name

The rhythm’s off,
and the course
blurs and grows soft,
walking on
velveteen clouds
amidst
technicolor skies
medicated

Hallowed is
the feeling
that I’ve come
to find after
each ripple has
found me
hollowed out,
echo chamber
myriad thoughts
none being sacred
©2019 loose.leaf.lover

A Blossom From Igoni

Here goes the turbulence of another patch shaky, the grasp of indifference mangles and holds so tightly to azure that it ruins a sunny day

The message’ll fall leaded upon my head steadily, inscribed with verses a nexus to long ago curses karmic my paramour of inching fate

My eyes passionately transfixed to a heaven that’ll never be, celestial mist of intoxicating dreamscapes through valley up to zenith’s face

If you manage, string together a wreath made up of flowers that I received before my life ebbed, drift it gently down streams tears make

To the hoove falls of death trotting along breaking up dawn’s gold leaf, cloaked in a grim aura like charcoal across strathmore for art’s sake

A allure for eden while gathering up bouquets, suddenly sullied by the mucking of a jeweled snake—poison dripping from jaws gapped

The trickle too will seem a gift you can take, a intoxicating exiler that’ll slowly erode veins turning sunlight into a abyss of dark space

The collapse of the world came upon with such a softness that you’d confuse death with being kiss by a garden blooming in spring’s grace

I can’t think beyond her veneer and content, like a fool to my heart I’ve endeared her like the peddlings of a snake oils men to a willing patsy

I can’t see when I’m so close to a light that blossoms life, like a moth to a flame I am to her cheerful beckons and my condemning conscience
©2020 loose.leaf.lover

Precious

Shifting silhouettes of spectrum spectrals arrayed, shades clashing and phasing until all becomes bluish grey

All in your name, for the beckoning touch of paradisal rays from a laying crescent of stars upon your mane

The glimmers of hope, hued from sun soaked dandelion to precious metallic dark, all for the warmth of your hand

A sensation that penetrates deeper than the surface and known, slips back into the cradled moon and mystic realm

Before them all, an aurous bloom, the disc of a deity in the stained glass windows of my soul, a form that gives life to all

A day beneath benevolence, the blessedness and awe, from flowing gown—know a ichor that permeates precious smiles

Peppered with the fragments from the heart of a died star, diamond encrusted crooning a tune of ice and radiant fire

From heavenly heights down to the sacredness of gold capped spires, we gather en masse for the cleansing choir

A melody brushing across otherworldly palm leaves, songs of the original before the premise of a prism’s broke her

A dream dipped in fanciful azure, from the remnants of her mother’s spectre, we cling to the memory of her forever after
©2019 loose.leaf.lover